


An Interesting Day

by Deus_Ex_Ash



Series: The Unrelated and Slightly Unethical Misadventures of Pride the Arrogant [1]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Lust is best sister, Pride is adorable and mean, Sibling Love, sisterly bonds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 15:28:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5502902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deus_Ex_Ash/pseuds/Deus_Ex_Ash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lust and Envy go to relieve Gluttony from guard duty. Only to find that smoething is gravely wrong with him. He's somehow managed to eat Pride.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Interesting Day

Lust’s heels clicked on the stone floor of their subterranean hideout. The stone walls were a bit damp today. It must have rained pretty badly up on the surface and the run-off must’ve drained into the tunnel. It was one of the few down sides of living underground.

She was supposed to relieve Gluttony from guard duty and make sure that Envy took over the job of guarding the subterranean half of Laboratory 5. She was not looking forward to hearing envy complaining about guard duty.

“Lust, there you are! I’ve been waiting forever!”  Envy shouted from halfway down the tunnel.

 Lust shut her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Well pardon me for having to walk. I can’t just turn into a small bird and fly down the tunnel.”

She opened her eyes and was met with a small green humming bird. Envy was apparently in one of his more playful moods.

“Apology accepted, now let’s go!” He flew away.

“Since when are you so eager to guard a building?”

“I’m not.” In this avian form, Envy’s voice came out higher and tinier than normal. “But the quicker I get it over with, the quicker I can leave.”

“And do what exactly; you don’t have a life Envy.”

Lust watched as Envy paused and hovered in mid-flight for a moment before continuing onwards without speaking.

Lust smiled to herself. Envy was an arrogant person (for lack of a better word) so it was always funny to see him at a loss for words. The air was quiet save for the patter of Envy’s wings. Why was he still in that form again? Oh well, it didn’t matter.

They were coming up onto the small branch of the tunnel that led to Lab 5. It was quiet and oddly lit which was really strange. Normally there were dark shadows that were so thick that Lust could swear they moved. Mostly because they did.

Then came the worst sound in the world; Gluttony, crying.

Lust raced past Envy. This was her baby. Father may not have given her motherly protectiveness but boy did it feel like it. Gluttony was the most childlike of them and since Lust was the only female in their little ‘family’ it was natural for her to act as a mother to Gluttony. So when she came across him huddled on the floor, crying with Wrath leaning over him with a look of utter loathing on his face, Lust lost it.

“Gluttony, what’s the matter?” She knelt down beside him. “Wrath, what did you do?”

“Me! Me!” Wrath looked furious. “This thing can’t control himself. He tried and succeeded in swallowing…”

“He snuck up on me!” Gluttony shouted, still curled up on the floor.

“So you ate him!” Wrath shouted, his voice pitching up an octave.

“Hold up, what! Gluttony who did you eat?” Envy who had turned back into his normal form shouted.

Gluttony burst into tears again and Wrath started shouting indistinctly. This was all too much noise.

“Quiet, all of you!” Lust shouted. She then turned to Gluttony. “Gluttony, please, tell me what happened.”

Gluttony stopped his blubbering and collected himself. “Well, I was waiting for you and Envy when I heard that Wrath and his son were here. I didn’t leave my post though. I sat in the dark waiting for you. I don’t like the dark so when somebody tapped me on the shoulder, it scared me. I attacked him and before I realized who it was, he was halfway in my mouth and I can’t spit him out.”

“Gluttony, who did you eat?” Lust asked earnestly.

“… Pride.”

Suddenly, everything made a lot more sense. Gluttony wasn’t crying out of remorse. He was crying out of fear. Wrath may have been scary when angry but he couldn’t hold a candle to Pride. What if he couldn’t get Pride out? That would be really bad for Gluttony.

Envy spoke in his rare serious voice. “Gluttony, this is really important. What mouth did you eat him with?”

Gluttony pointed to his middle.

Lust took a breath. “Envy, go let Father know what’s happening and then take up your post. Wrath and I are going to a bigger room to get Pride back.”

Envy ran out of the room. Lust didn’t need his tactlessness right now. Besides, Lust had an idea. She helped Gluttony to his feet and the three of them walked into an unused room. Lust was getting an Idea.

“Wrath, are your alchemists still in Central?”

Wrath had calmed down a bit. “Yes, they won’t be deployed into Ishval until September. Why do you ask?”

Lust sighed. “You know exactly what Gluttony stomach actually is. Then you’ll understand that we might have to bring in the Crimson Alchemist. He’s one of the few alchemists who would even attempt this.”

“Do you really think that rat would try something like that?”

Lust riled up. “Do you have a better idea? No, that’s what I thought.”

Wrath sighed heavily and left to go get the Crimson Alchemist. Lust couldn’t really be too angry at Wrath. He was upset. Despite being many centuries older than him, Pride was his son. If nothing else, they had pretended to be related for a long time. They would have to be good at pretending but this wasn’t that. Lust knew firsthand what pretending to love somebody felt like.

She spent the next hour and a half comforting Gluttony. He was terrified of letting Pride out. Many times, he suggested they just let Pride stay inside his stomach. As much as the idea sounded promising, they needed Pride. Besides, the longer they waited to rescue Pride, the angrier he would be.

How angry would Pride be?

He was the sort to get infuriated but it was less of a quick burst of fire like Wrath’s anger and more like having a cigar pressed into your cheek. It would hurt as it was happening and afterward, you’d have a small scar that could never be hidden. It was unbearable to be the target of Pride’s anger because he held no punches, he hit you where it hurt and he loved it.

Truly, he was Father’s favorite son.

Wrath returned with the Crimson Alchemist in toe. He looked rather tired but amazingly was still immaculately dressed.

“So, what’s this about a rescue mission?” Kimblee asked.

Lust sighed and began to explain her plan. She and Kimblee would descend into the defective portal that is Gluttony’s stomach. They would find Pride and Kimblee would use the stone they would provide and open the portal that would take them home. Lust knew what the transmutation circle that would open the portal looked like and could dictate it to Kimblee.

“Hang on, how exactly are we going to find Pride anyway. You said it yourself, that place is an endless wasteland.”

Lust sighed; they didn’t have time for this. “That’s why I’m coming with you. Chances are that Pride will find us and without me there; he’ll kill you on sight.”

Kimblee didn’t seem phased. He clapped his hands together and said in a far too cheerful for the situation voice. “Alright, let’s get this show on the road. Hand me the stone.”

Wrath handed Kimblee the stone. His face was set into a hard line. Lust turned to face Gluttony. “Alright now, open up.”

Gluttony whimpered but unfurled the large mouth that took up his entire body. She and Kimblee stepped forward and with no amount of enthusiasm, jumped inside of Gluttony’s mouth.

There was a blinding white light and she felt herself being deconstructed and reconstructed. It was strange. Like being torn apart and clued back together. It wasn’t painful per say. Just really itchy; it was like having Velcro rubbed on every inch of her skin.

She and Kimblee hit the ‘ground’ very close together. It was like they were standing in several inches of thick blood. That was exactly what they were standing in actually; how gross. Kimblee had lost some of his trademark psychotic enthusiasm and was now more serious. Being stranded in an endless void of blood looking for an angry Aldridge horror could do that to a person.

We need to find a large surface” He said. “Preferably a flat and dry one.”

Lust nodded and began to walk. Neither of them could really see anything which meant neither could Pride. Lust started calling his name, she tried to make her voice sound calm and even. It was hard with the constant sloshing sounds of their footsteps.

“I’ve got an idea.” Kimblee said.

“Oh why does that scare me?”

“Look at this,” Kimblee knelt down and scooped up a bit of blood with his hand. “I’ve got a lot of organic material here and plenty of iron to boot. I could cause a small explosion. It would be exactly like sending up a flare.”

Lust paused. It wasn’t a bad idea. Her voice wasn’t carrying far enough but the sound of an explosion would be impossible to miss. “Alright but give me the stone. We don’t need to use it until we have to.”

Kimblee reached into his lapel pocket and pulled out the small stone. He reluctantly handed it over. He then turned towards the nothingness. He clapped his transmutation circles together and thrust his hands out in front of him. A loud eruption of blood and smoke sent a cascade of the stuff everywhere. The sound was deafening. There wasn’t a chance in hell that Pride didn’t hear that.

  And Pride did not disappoint.

Tendrils of darkness shot out of the vast nothingness and coiled themselves around the both of them. What little light there was gone. The darkness that now held them captive wriggled and writhed. It was very much alive and it was seething.

A cold, metallic voice echoed in Lust’s head. “What took you so long and who is this worm?!”

“This is the Crimson Alchemist, Solf J. Kimblee and he’s going to help get you out. Now please Pride, could you put us down please.”

The shadows slithered off of them and retreated. They circled Pride’s container restlessly. He had a cold, dead expression but his eyes were alight with a thousand emotions.

“You can get us out of this place, eh human?”

Lust looked at Kimblee. He was paler than usual but otherwise unharmed. “Yeah but we’re going to need a flat surface and a big one at that.”

Pride smiled a wary sort of smile. “Well that’s a relief; there are some old ruins this way. Follow me.”

Pride started walking in a seemingly random direction and Lust and Kimblee followed him. She slipped the stone back into his pocket. He looked at her thankfully. He looked both thrilled and terrified. 

Pride himself looked quite vile in this lackluster lighting. His skin looked paler than normal and his raven’s hair was damp and looked sticky to the touch. His clothes were soaked at the ankles and blood coated his face. It was rather unsettling since besides these facts, Pride was quite adorable. (Excluding the major personality defects, of course)

They came across the ruins of what might have once been a beautiful bath house but now was nothing but foundation. It was large and flat and surprisingly did not have much blood on it at all. Kimblee pulled out a piece of chalk. Perhaps carrying chalk came with the territory of being an alchemist.

“Alright, dictate to me the circle’s design.”

Lust sighed and began to dictate the exact details of what the circle looked like. He started going at it with fervor and didn’t stop even after she had finished. “Let me know if you need further explanations, Crimson Alchemist.”

He still didn’t speak but instead slipped the stone out of his pocket and grasped it between his teeth as he drew that circle. With Kimblee now occupied, Lust turned to her big brother.

“Pride, are you upset?”

Pride gave her his most exasperated look. “No, I’m absolutely thrilled to have been swallowed by my little brother. It excites me to my very core.”

 “Look Pride, please, go easy on Gluttony when we get out. You and I both know he would never have eaten you on purpose.”

“Still doesn’t mean he should get away with it.”

“He won’t, Wrath has done more than enough berating and Father is definitely upset with Gluttony right now.”

When she mentioned Wrath, Pride got a far off look in his eye. For a brief moment, he wasn’t Pride the Arrogant. For a brief moment, he was a little kid that wanted to go home. He wasn’t an angry bitter little boy. He was just upset.

Then a shadow passed over his face and Pride returned.

“I just hope that Wrath kept that spare change of clothes for me. I would hate to have to explain this to my step-mother.”

Pride turned away from Lust and stared off into space. Pride did that a lot, especially when he was contemplating something, or when he was bored. Lust wondered what could be going on inside his head. There was no planning to be done, there was nothing to observe (unless you counted Kimblee, which Lust really didn’t), and so what could he be thinking. What more was there to Pride than planning and observation?

From what she had just seen a moment ago, there must have been something else.

“Finished!” Kimblee shouted.

Lust looked over at the circle. It was a perfect replica of the circle they needed. “It appears you truly have earned the title of State Alchemist. Good work.”

Kimblee stood up and walked outside the circle. He left the stone sitting in the center. He flexed the muscles of his fingers before putting them to the circle. There was a loud hiss and a small burst of energy as an eye formed on the ground and black tendrils pulled them all into it.

Lust let her mind guide her. She didn’t have to focus on anything in particular; she just let the tendrils carry her. It was almost relaxing. Then came that sensation of Velcro being rubbed on her skin. She noticed with bemusement that the blood that had caked her skin was gone now. How convenient.

When they turned up on the other side, it was Gluttony who spoke first. He began stumbling forth apologies and begs for his life. Pride looked over at him and for a moment there was that flash of anger.

“Hey Pride, I came by to see if you’re okay. Lord knows you look like complete shit.” Envy stuck his head in the doorway.

Oh Envy, how perfectly timed of you.

“I’m peachy Envy, thanks for asking.”

Pride stood up and did not look at Gluttony. He gave a quick glance at Lust before turning to Wrath. “Come on, let’s get out of here. I want to get home before mother gets too concerned.”

Wrath smiled a little. “OH yes, and we’ll have to thank her for leaving the spare pair of clothes in the car just in case.”

“Oh yes,” Pride grinned. “Just in case of accidental spills, or splashes, or being eaten alive by my little brother; just the typical troubles that placate every child’s life.”

Wrath led his ‘son’ out of the room. Kimblee got up off the ground (Lust hadn’t noticed him come in) and left after them.

“Hang on a second,” Envy looked thoroughly confused. “Did Pride just make a joke? And more to the point was it actually funny?”

Lust chuckled a little. “Yes, truly it’s a world gone mad.”

“I’ll say, now I’m gonna get back to my post. You should probably start to counsel Gluttony. He needs sororal help right now.”

Envy grinned before slinking off. Lust turned to Gluttony and began to calm him down. Truly, today was quite interesting.  If nothing else, she would have a few things to think about later but for now Gluttony needed his big sister.

  

   

**Author's Note:**

> I like the idea that there's something more to Pride than just arrogance and cruelty. I'm not saying he's kind or loving but there's something more there. It's cute.


End file.
